25 Nov 2016

Written




The pen broke
Right there
On the white paper
A blue Rorschach and silver nib

The hand broke
Right then
A bone frozen and muscle failure

The brain stalled
The heart paused
All around birds flew and
Cars sang metallic songs

The eyes saddened
The tears remembered faces
Now gone and
The pain of those still here

The pen broke
The fire put out
The poems become of less and less
Use.






17 Nov 2016

Rainbow head




Pre 9am
Main road mono

She passes me on the
Inside
With striped rainbow hair
Rainbow head
Outside and in no doubt

And other colours
Maybe every one

Up and down her legs
Backpack
Eye shadow
Mid-twenties I guess
Unconcerned about opinions

Defying the locale
Grey puddles en route

Laying still
Unreflective
While the red yellow
Pink green
Orange purple, blue shine

Not crazy
Or maybe just crazy enough

Finally
She turns a corner
The streets are greyed
I am tired and lazy and broken and
So
I count her as my
fuck you
To the world for today.


25 Oct 2016

I want I want I want



The kid is in that stage now
Of nothing is enough
I want I want I want
Glass half empty
Grass is greener kind of shit

I don’t rise to it
Because just wait until we’re not paying
When he has to shell out for
Whatever
Out of his own pocket

It’s then you realise
Those feelings never cease
New clothes
New shoes
New car
New house

There’s always a bigger fish
A higher high
A rose tinted memory
Lying to your future self
            It will never be that good
Again…

I used to make lists
Strings of idealistic words
In the backs of school exercise books
Scraps of paper
Post-its – anything nearby
No target or goal in mind
Just lists of things I needed

(with hindsight this was a way to keep the world in order
to keep the wolves from the door. Hindsight doesn’t help shit)

But
30 years later
Nothing changes
Except now I don’t write the lists
I keep them in my head out of shame
But it’s all the same
Then
Now
Later

I want
I want
I want…


25 Sep 2016

Yaad


Those times are over kid
I was there
In part
Briefly experienced it;
Whole house
Front yard, back yard
A dog
A cat
Both maybe

But those times are over
Kid
You get what you can now
You sit back and suck up
The last of what’s on
Your plate
And be thankful for it

Sure, snow rarely falls
But the summers still come round
And the people
Those next door
Across the street
They still live
Just farther way
More distant from each other
Drifting out and out
With the rest of the universe.



22 Aug 2016

Disbelief



Reality is a walk in the park
The circles of terror become old and dusty
They slow and grate and are at last
Predictable

Gates stay locked
Fences high and strong
Razor wire for your ambitions
It comes and goes but the walls are always
There

Yet
The hardest days are a simple equation
Comedy is after all just
Tragedy plus time
All you need is patience and imagination

Knowing when to believe the lie
When to buy into the story
Suspension of disbelief is invaluable
But
You can’t always win
And that’s fine
So don’t listen to those movies where they
Tell you otherwise

If you truly believe…
If your heart is pure…
If you are doing what you love…
It will all work out

To throw caution to the wind in this town
Is the same as pissing into it

There is still a time and place for the
Fear brought about by risk
You can still jump
Without breaking a single bone
You just need patience and imagination

Reality is a walk in the park
But at night
In the darkness
Wide awake as young foxes scream
It is your dreams that must be overcome.