26 Sept 2017

Dream up to the bell





She wakes up at 4am
6am
Makes a god awful racket
Though trying not to
Flushes and gets back in
Feet cold after only a few minutes
Out

It always wakes me in that half dream
Kind of way
Where you’re there but also not
Your toes still off the ground
Then back into it I go

Other nights I dream right up to the bell
It goes off and you open your eyes
In a micro second turning the sharp corner
From some rainbow/dead friend/Atlantic ocean
Storyline
To a white sheet and blond hair in your face
And wondering why the sun
Hates you so goddamn much
Coming up as it does

Burning away out there uncaring and
Unaware of you
But pushing you forward towards
Your small day with its bits and pieces
Screws and fixings and dust and clutter
And all the needful things
Too

A push and pull of digging in your heels
Rolling up your sleeves and
Hoist the black flag, as the man said
But then also
To see an end
A beautiful end and remain powerful enough
To climb toward that too

A cycle of wanting and the waking world chasing that
Want from you
And there is no secret to any of this
Other than to fight against the days
Follow the sun
Rest in shadow
Keep dreaming right up to the bell.