Cary Grant was once told, "Every time I see you on the
screen, I think, 'I wish I was Cary Grant.'" He replied, "That's just
what I think!"
I've been repeating that story ever
since I first heard it, and it never fails to amuse audiences, all of
whom seem to understand it immediately. Everybody groks that Archie
Leach, the poor boy from Liverpool who became "Cary Grant" never fully
believed in "Cary Grant," since Cary was, after all, his own invention.
On the other hand, here's a similar story, which I also like to tell,
that produces very mixed reactions, with some people laughing and others
looking puzzled or slightly offended.
An art dealer once went to Pablo
Picasso and said, "I have a bunch of 'Picasso' canvasses that I was
thinking of buying. Would you look them over and tell me which are real
and which are forgeries?" Picasso obligingly began sorting the paintings
into two piles. Then, as the Great Man added one particular picture to
the fake pile, the dealer cried, "Wait a minute, Pablo. That's no
forgery. I was visiting you the weekend you painted it." Picasso replied
imperturbably, "No matter. I can fake a Picasso as well as any thief in
Europe."
Personally, I find this story not only
amusing but profoundly disturbing. It has caused me to think, every
time I finish a piece of writing, "Is this a real Robert Anton Wilson,
or did I just fake a Robert Anton Wilson?" Sometimes, especially with a
long novel, I find it impossible to convince myself that I know the
answer. After all, as Nietzche said, "there are no facts, only
interpretations"...... Continue reading...
