6 Jul 2011

The wrong time


The big man came in
Lumbering
Not slow but still looking as though formed of concrete
They were both champs and the smaller one
Started to duck and weave

The first was usually a measuring game
Feel the other out
Time it right
Then come out swinging from the 2nd onwards
Unless we’re talking about Hagler/Hearns
Those two fought the first like it was the fifteenth

Arms were up
A few jabs tapped
Side to side
On the back foot
This went on

Both neutral
The odd flurry
Frequent slips
Stoppages and
Warnings

This went on
Until it became clear nothing was going to happen
And though frustrated at the lack of contact
Cheated almost
I felt good at least I hadn’t paid to watch the thing live

Our champ swung the overhead right
Time and again
Like the uppercut had never been invented
I kept thinking of Iron Mike and how he’d work his way inside
From the bell
To the end of the story

Their champ just stood
Leant
Smiled
Grappled and raised his eyebrows
As though waiting for a bus that was never
Coming

I knew the feeling
It was the start of the week
I was sick with a cold
Sick with hatred for the world
Sick with self confidence

I practiced my breathing
Managed 45 sit-ups
Distracting at least my body for a time
If not my mind
I made vows I knew I’d break before sunset
Lies I tell myself

To help me fall asleep each night
I thought about writing and then thought
Not
And realised I never – hardly
Write at home anymore
Alone or outside
In the old dark corners of coffeeshops
My refuge all those years ago

It’s always at the job now, I thought
Trying to hide it
Disguise the real work as theirs
Stopping and starting
It’s not the right time to do it – I thought

But there you go
Let’s go
Carry on
Come on
Arms are up
A few jabs tapped
Side to side
On the back foot
This goes on

Neutral
Bar the odd flurry
Frequent slips
Stoppages and
Warnings

This goes on
Until it becomes clear nothing is ever going to
Happen.



Quote of the day

Society is no comfort to one not sociable. Shakespeare.

True Grit

Watched this last night. Bit of a strange ending if you ask me - but Jeff Bridges is still the man. And Corey Webster plays the bad guy.

29 Jun 2011

Beatnik (prison calm).

Everybody dies
Man
I just passed one lying on the street
Writhing on his back over the warm white paving
Stones
People slowing to stare
Maybe to help
Not me
I have places to go
Someone to be

Even being in the death house
The big white building
The stench of cleanliness burning the back of my tongue
Only confirms how little I care about it all
So many of them lining hallways and
Waiting
Waiting for it

I’m sure somewhere deep
Down
Down
There’s a feeling
Something
But for now
I have things to do
Places to be
Time to kill and
Well
Hell
What else I couldn’t even
Say

It is not anger or resentment
Man
But prison calm
Learned
Necessary and engrained
Not just in here but
Out there
For you and him and her and
Them
And I know inside that
I am still here
A little bit curled up maybe
A little weary and hiding
Away
Sure

Everybody dies man
As we are taken over
By the framework
And the structure of all things
The baseline order
Defeating our unique ability to inflame desire
And manifest anarchy
We all speed forward out of control
Even the snail
The tortoise
A straight line
Invisible
Comical

And upon our backs throughout all
This
We have these flies at our picnic
(stolen words to describe the banal presence of all bosses everywhere)
As they push and pull and press and eventually
Break
You
Or not
Whatever
But they will try nevertheless
For reasons unknown even to them
Just because
They are told what to tell you
To do

But
Having to breathe and eat and shit and
Fuck and love and sleep
Takes all of our heartbeat and clenched fist
There is no surplus adrenaline left to heighten our defences
To raise shields against their grey threat
So what to do
What to do

Adopt a smooth hard face trained to indicate nothing –
Neither resistance nor slavishness

Words written a long time ago
Still holding true.




24 Jun 2011

Good morning truth...


The house is silent, save for the dustbin truck
Grinding its way past
Outside the front window
And a small prism that hangs in there
Throws shards of rainbow across the white walls
Across the ceiling and rug
Across the sofa and my hand that holds my
Morning coffee
I open my palm to examine the splinters of colour
Each one long and razor thin
White light, white noise
Split into its component parts
The only real truth I think I will be privy to today

The baby stirs from the back bedroom and
I go to greet him
He smiles and frowns all in one
Happy to see me and resentful at having to move
From under
The mountainous white duvet
We lay watching cartoons for a time
The sun not yet having reached behind the house
We lay at the mid point, at a fork in the road
I lay undecided as to my intentions for the day
To stay where colour reveals itself
Or remain awake and battle the white light.



22 Jun 2011

Not a Loon or Bonzo in sight...

Sorry it's been a really fucking slow week...  Give the drummer some.






21 Jun 2011

Quote of the day

All fixed set patterns are incapable of adaptability or pliability. The truth is outside of all fixed patterns.
Bruce Lee

15 Jun 2011

Settle.

I can tell you there are no birds on your pillow
Talking to you through
Sharp teeth while you sleep
I can tell you there are no monsters under your bed or
Out in the world
I can lay with you until you fall back to sleep and not want to move
From there
Because you allow me to feel that everything I tell you is
True.

because

A: sick photo, and B: because you never need a reason to re-post Gonz shit. From CBI.

3 Jun 2011

The height of exclusivity


I am 2 floors above the street
And a sociopathic monologue runs along
Inside my skull yet underneath and outside of me
Like the ground far below that I yearn to walk on
There is a distance
Like a wall or
No
A bubble between myself and the external
I am not dizzy yet
Somehow removed from it all
Did I die?
I don’t think so
I am being acknowledged if only moment to moment
My physical exclusion now partnered to mental space
Two negative magnets face one another
All I need to complete this would be the green and blue magic of the
Northern
Lights
I am 2 floors above the street
And a sociopathic monologue runs along
Inside my skull yet underneath and outside of me
The sky deep blue and burning my
Skin
Mid June seems to have brought insanity to the city
I wait for night to fall and hope for my aurora.


Just Kids

1 Jun 2011

Sorry, this won’t take a minute...

‘Thank you’ doesn’t cost
‘Goodbye’, doesn’t cost
The weight of those £20’s folded in a wedge in your pocket
Lends itself too heavily to your sense of worth
And by the way
A formal pink shirt with tight jeans and brown shoes
Does not make you
‘Casual’.

31 May 2011

Chris Pulman

The former Heroin man has moved his blog to Tumblr (sometime ago I think) but go check out his blog. Always a good choice of skate-related stuff to look at.

Memory/memories

Had a really good, if brief skate in Bromley yesterday. The baking sun/black jeans combo aside. And apart from having to dodge the 50 scooter kids on every run. And forgetting I had my camera in my bag so not filming anything. And the fact I was skating like a rag doll for most of it... but yeah. Good times. 

Too Much

To everyone currently making pop music - you can stop now, because it's peaked:

26 May 2011

Quote of the week

'I went to a party at Muddy Waters' house, and woke up at Howling Wolf's house.' Keef.

24 May 2011

Disposition

I was at the keyboard
Face lit up and the room under cover
Silence was mine for
Just
A single frame
I had finished explaining for the one-thousandth time, what song was going to play at my funeral and looked
Deep
Into her eyes,

THIS COULD BE THE LAST THING I EVER WRITE AND IT’S ABOUT YOU YOU BITCH!
She laughed at me as she always
Did
And I cracked a smile back. Dying inside.
I should’a been in the movies.

LISTEN YOU ASSHOLE, YOU CAN’T EVER GET ANYTHING RIGHT!
WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ALL THIS WHIRLING DRAMA?
Hell – I couldn’t even answer. I just sat there - wine in one hand and scratching my huge poetic balls with the other.
She poured herself a big one and the door hit her in the ass on the way out.

Silence is not golden.
Silence marks the end of all humanity and the dispassionate failings of
Love.
             Man – I should’a been in the movies.

10 May 2011

wait, put your foot where? no it's not working...

Maybe if I watch this 100 times I'll finally nail one of these. Probably not though...