- Number of fat around the middle – middle aged women reading Eat Pray Love in the hope it will somehow relive their loneliness: 345
- Number of people in SuperDry clothing that they obviously got for Christmas: 1,400,000
- Number of nicotine addicted fucktards walking in front of me at 8.30am, exhaling plumes of smoke into the air just as I yawn: 77
- Number of morning bananas bought at Berwick St market: 20
- Number of times I’ve fallen asleep on lunch while listening to Mogwai: 2
