30 May 2013

Reverse creep while the goddamn television keeps me down again

Genius idea 1;
I figure
If I log three things at a time
Maybe one of those will save time
Grab someone
Condense correlate

Life is like this
A rambling haiku of misspelling
Constant asides
Accidents forgiven
Mistakes forgotten
Love remembered
Someone else’s guitar
While your voice sings along
Albeit silently
A secret well known to all
This late in the game

Nothing linear
If anything
Experience and actions become reversed
Perfect and symmetrically opposite
A crippled symmetry
Here I am alone
Red all around
Flowers and
Wine and heavy curtains that she bought and got made and

Here I am alone
Pretending I am young though not wanting to
And any focus or point or anything of something that once there was
Long since left me - for sunnier climbs no doubt

Genius idea 2;
Sit and force it to come
The words are here
there somewhere

Light up
Close my eyes and lie about the page having an end
About there being rules and facts and a real world
Just outside somewhere

Even with this sky as light as it is now at nearly 9pm
I see the reality through the gap in those dark heavy curtains
How long before we all end up just coasting along a path
Because that was the easiest thing to do
The safest thing
No one to follow anymore
No one left to lead now
What a predicament

How are the others dealing with this I wonder…
Do they still have each other
These thoughts are laid down in too abstract a fashion
Too camouflaged to be considered (I am aware - I am not stupid)
An intentional wasting of my – and your – time
So why bother
Because ‘one day’
One day they’ll all wake up
And who knows
Maybe I will too

But until then I now have this responsibility
Then and now
My opposing forces
Mirrored and so unaware of each other

Countdown is beginning
- has begun
My mistake
The morning birds now sing outside
Into the nighttime clouds
So at least I am not the only one in the wrong
And I remember that I used to do that
And far from lamenting that time
I am glad to miss it
I shed not a tear for the naivety of our youngest nights