The kid is in that
stage now
Of nothing is enough
I want I want I want
Glass half empty
Grass is greener
kind of shit
I don’t rise to it
Because just wait
until we’re not paying
When he has to
shell out for
Whatever
Out of his own
pocket
It’s then you
realise
Those feelings
never cease
New clothes
New shoes
New car
New house
There’s always a
bigger fish
A higher high
A rose tinted
memory
Lying to your
future self
It
will never be that good
Again…
I used to make
lists
Strings of
idealistic words
In the backs of school
exercise books
Scraps of paper
Post-its – anything
nearby
No target or goal
in mind
Just lists of
things I needed
(with hindsight
this was a way to keep the world in order
to keep the wolves
from the door. Hindsight doesn’t help shit)
But
30 years later
Nothing changes
Except now I don’t write
the lists
I keep them in my
head out of shame
But it’s all the
same
Then
Now
Later
I want
I want
I want…