25 Oct 2016

I want I want I want

The kid is in that stage now
Of nothing is enough
I want I want I want
Glass half empty
Grass is greener kind of shit

I don’t rise to it
Because just wait until we’re not paying
When he has to shell out for
Out of his own pocket

It’s then you realise
Those feelings never cease
New clothes
New shoes
New car
New house

There’s always a bigger fish
A higher high
A rose tinted memory
Lying to your future self
            It will never be that good

I used to make lists
Strings of idealistic words
In the backs of school exercise books
Scraps of paper
Post-its – anything nearby
No target or goal in mind
Just lists of things I needed

(with hindsight this was a way to keep the world in order
to keep the wolves from the door. Hindsight doesn’t help shit)

30 years later
Nothing changes
Except now I don’t write the lists
I keep them in my head out of shame
But it’s all the same

I want
I want
I want…