19 Oct 2012

She walked in between two thoughts;

The glass case over the cookies looked like one huge breast
A disproportionately bulbous nipple-handle atop it
When was I going to turn into that crazy old man
That all around me would find wonderfully eccentric?

I heard the click clack that
Always makes your head turn
And there she was for the first time in, well
The devil only knows how many years

But here now
Yet not the same
Someone I knew who’d been once so
Disarming and light of heart and head
Now looked down at her shoes as though the weight of the room
Too much for her to remain in any one spot
For longer than a few seconds

I stood back and watched as opportunities passed
As she ignored - or pretended to ignore
The smiles and eye contact
There was no fear to her but rather apathy

Then looking up she caught my eye and in an instant I was lost again
Swimming in what she used to be
What she could have been
(anything anywhere to everyone)

Her head fell back down just as quickly
She stared towards the floor
Shamed by something
A choice she never made
Or one she did
To be removed, distant, steely yet alive

I felt guilty for reminding her of all those things -
Ordered my coffee and left without a word
Who am I to regret the passing of yet another good one

One who decided to throw it all in for no other reason than
The rest of us just aren’t worth the damn trouble.